Pride, Show yourself to the world
It’s that time of year again. Gay Pride Month. Being a gay guy myself it’s truly a wonderful experience to see so many people gather in a beautiful showcase of Pride. Whether it be people of the LGBTQ community coming together in a celebration of their pride or creative people of the LGBTQ community showcasing their talent and expressing themselves in the most creative and amazing ways. The LGBTQ community is one of the most amazing communities of them all.
My Pride Story
I’ve already done a post about my story of being gay which is linked here. Also a YouTube video about my experience of growing up gay which is also on this blog post here But for those who have read it here is a recap.
Since I was around the age of 9 or 10 I knew I was going to be different. Growing up, I only ever had friends that were girls, I never played with boys, be it playing football or other “boy related” things. I was more interested playing my own made up games that my friend at the time would do about travelling the world. I didn’t think anything of it at the time as I was only 9. But a lot of the boys, even at such a young age, could also tell I was different to them. To this day I can still remember the first time someone shouted gay at me.
The word gay went through me like a knife. It hurt, was I gay? just because I liked going to art club instead of football. Just because I had lots of friends that were girls? To this day I still remember how I felt when he shouted gay at me. I felt so upset and left wondering why they felt the need to say such a thing when I’ve done nothing to them.
In secondary school it got a lot worse to the point of people shouting things out on a daily occurrence. I just became a target wherever I went throughout my school. I was a bigger target in P.E where things would always get thrown or I would just be made fun of. On a daily basis things were happening and it was just too much. As well as anxiety and acne to deal with I was just a target for bullies.
You Can Get Through It!
If you haven’t read about my post around being gay, you will not know about how I had dark thoughts nearly all the time because of the bullying. To the point of nearly taking my own life. This was really a dark time for me and I felt like I had no one to turn too due to losing most of my friends. It was if something was trying to stop me. Which it did, and I’m so thankful for that gut feeling that made me rethink the whole situation. There are so many people that you can talk too if you ever have these feelings. I shall link websites and phone numbers at the end of the post. As well as those pages, I too would be here if you need to talk. I might be a stranger but I never want anyone to feel just like I did.
Fast forward to being 18 and I could confirm I was gay. I came out to my parents via letter as I was so nervous as to what they would say. I remember coming home from work and both parents put their arms around me and hugging me tight. They go onto telling me they would love me no matter what. That instant feeling of the weight coming off my shoulders was the biggest god send in my life. It was like a breath of fresh air over came me and I was now free.
It’s not always been easy being gay. I found it so hard when I was younger and through school years. But it hit me when I came out to my parents that I didn’t need to hide away anymore. I shouldn’t listen to the comments of other people. I shouldn’t worry about what other people think of me and how I dress. This was a turning point for me and I knew that from that moment on things would get better.
To this day I’m so happy I am me. I’m so happy of all the people that shaped me into the person I am today. Past relationships and all the people that said I wouldn’t be happy. I’m happy I am me. I’m happy that I’ve accepted who I am. You can’t help who you fall in love with. Just love without limits.
If there is something you can take away from this blog post, I want you to take this. Yes times might be hard for you right now. You might not feel like who you feel you’re supposed to be. But let me tell you, you are strong. You are a fighter and you can be who ever the hell you want to be. Do not let anyone tell you different.
0300 330 0630 – LGBTQ Switchboard
0345 3 30 30 30 – lGBTQ Foundation Helpline
116 123 – Samaritans