Lately, I’ve been dealing with random bursts of overpowering anxiety. To the point where I just don’t want to be social, want to get dressed or even get out of bed. This has had such an effect on me as I’m a person that always wants to strive to be the best I can be. During this time I’ve never felt more alone and isolated than I have during this time.
Over the past few months so much has happened to me which I don’t get myself credit for. However, in the back of my mind I feel like a failure. Even though it’s because of my mental health all these things have happened.
If you’ve kept up with my blog from the start, you know this is a very known fact that I suffer from horrible anxiety. In the past my anxiety used to get the better of me, to the point where I just had to be left alone. I would get that exhausted from it that it made me very ill and it would completely ruin a day or even more.
Most of the time my anxiety would come along when I was doing things such as when I went from my driving test. When I went to a job interview or even when I met someone new. The things that most people do get nervous about. however, my anxiety would also come along when I least expected for example when I needed to phone someone up this even included my own family and friends. It was that point I knew I needed help.
After so many medications through trial and error, I found the right one that balanced me out and I run the course of it. It’s been nearly 3 years since I was on medication for my anxiety but recently I’ve been thinking do I need to go back to them to try and fix these sudden outbursts?
Finding the reason behind the anxiety
I’ve kind of found a pattern to why I get sudden outbursts of anxiety. Being a blogger I’m constantly looking on Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr and Pinterest. You see so many different types of people, but for me, I mainly see people who appear to be doing better than me. I get myself into a panic thinking, what am I doing with my life? Where from the outset, I’m actually doing the best I can be. But nothing fills me with more dread and anxiety than seeing someone buying their own house, starting a family or even just getting more comments on a blog post, where at first I thought it was jealousy… it wasn’t.
If I felt jealous towards them I would feel enraged and not want to see that person on my feed, but for me I just get the sense of I’m not good enough for that person because they have so much more than me, I love nothing more than seeing people on my feed who have done so well, I always go out of my way to try to showcase how much I love seeing them on my feed but sometimes it gets too much.
How I deal with my Anxiety outbursts
Social media is a beautiful place where lots of people come together to share snippets of their own lives. But for people who struggle with depression and anxiety it’s hard to digest sometimes as it triggers thoughts, “Why haven’t I got that?” “What am I doing wrong?” So this is my way of dealing with those kind of thoughts…
Stop comparing yourself to others and take a moment to celebrate all things you’ve achieved.
Everyone is at different stages in their life. Some people may be younger than you. They may be doing all the things you consider “so well.” Then there may be people older than you in a worse a situation than you. You should never think people are doing better than you just because they have more things than you. It’s all about timing and how people react to things. Life isn’t a race.
Channel your thoughts into a blog post or something you’re passionate about.
This is something I often do. If I feel low and I really can’t get myself out of that thought process I take a deep breath, and think of things I can do that will channel that negative energy. To which I create something that makes me proud. The photos you see on this post was part of a reason when I was so anxious. I went out and did some photography on my own and came up with these images.
Go for a walk without your phone
go out and get yourself a walk without taking your phone. Lose yourself in nature and just forget about everything around you. Immerse yourself in the beautiful scenery or even your local coffee shop. It gets you out of your head space for a while.
Take a break
If none of the above work then maybe consider having a break from social media. Coming off social media will allow you to work on yourself. Forget about everything. People in the blogging community or social media world all know it too well. They will give nothing but support towards you. But at the end of the day, your mental health should come first. Regardless of anything.
Just remember you are more than your social media. Social media is somewhere we come to be with one with the world. Yes there are some amazing and lovely people on here. These people would do more than enough to make sure you’re okay. But you need to make sure you’re okay first. That is the main thing!
You are not weak!
A lot of people don’t talk about mental health more so than ever is men. Men are deemed to be strong and not allowed to show emotion. Men often shy away to the fact that they need help. Asking for help isn’t what men are supposed to do, again it’s deemed as weak. 61% of men now accept to having experienced depression and/or anxiety at some point in the last five years, and 48% feel more stressed today than at any point in the last five years. Despite these statistics, men are apparently less likely to access psychological therapies, with only 36% of referrals bring men.
These kinds of figures are awful. Men need to accept that if they feel like something is wrong they need to speak to someone. Don’t bottle it up. You are not weak for accepting something is wrong. I know exactly how you feel. I felt exactly the same when I decided to accept help and go talk to a doctor and see what we can do to try and help with my anxiety. The feeling was awful, I felt as if I had failed at life. But my doctor instantly told me that I would feel like that because society has burdened this feeling upon us. It shouldn’t be like that.
Once you’ve accepted you need help things get better. I’m not going to say it’s easy because for me it wasn’t. Finding the right medication that worked for me was a long process. But having people around you that understand and are willing to help was what made it better. You can do this and for whatever reason you feel you can’t here are some helplines for you to talk to someone so it’s not face to face. My email and blog are always open, if you feel you need advice I would be more than happy to help.
Charity providing support if you have been diagnosed with an anxiety condition.
Phone: 03444 775 774 (Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 5.30pm)
CALM is the Campaign Against Living Miserably, for men aged 15 to 35.
Phone: 0800 58 58 58 (daily, 5pm to midnight)
Men’s Health Forum
24/7 stress support for men by text, chat and email.
Promotes the views and needs of people with mental health problems.
Phone: 0300 123 3393 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 6pm)