“Just Say Whatevs”
The past month has been an eye-opener for me. I’ve recently come to terms with being single and I thought it would be really hard but this time around it’s been a lot easier. Learning to shrug things off and just say Whatevs has helped me a lot.
The time I’ve been in and out of blogging I’ve found myself contemplating what I wanted to do and where I want to go. I would work myself up and worry myself sick about what was going to happen next. But as the days go by I realise I have nothing to prove. I have nothing to worry about! I find myself wanting to prove that I’m better off on my own but another part of me says “whatevs” just like my Officially Neat t-shirt says and who cares. There is no reason for me to prove anything to anyone. In fact, I’ve become so detached from the idea I was ever in a relationship at all.
I don’t want this to be a blog post about bashing anyone or hurting anyone. That isn’t who I am but so many of you have been asking me questions about the whole thing. I won’t be doing a blog post about it all but I want you to know I’m fine. I’m doing well. I have times where I lose myself a tiny bit but that’s normal. I’ve just been broken hearted. It’s going to take time to heal. But things seem to be getting so better for me.
Every time my minds wander to thoughts of the demise of the relationship I remind myself the pain and hurt that I’ve been put through, not just this break up but twice before with the same person. I don’t deserve any of that, I don’t deserve to be second best. I deserve the best. I’m not the one that should be sad because I’ve lost him. He should be sad because he lost someone who loved him for who he was. He lost someone who loved him more than he could imagine. I shouldn’t be sad. I’ve been given a second chance for someone to love me properly.
My blog seems to be taking off because I’m working on it more, my anxiety doesn’t seem to be as bad at the moment as I’m not worrying about what’s going to happen with my love life. There are talks of me transferring to Manchester with my job.
I can’t believe how many people have reached out to me during this time. Being a blogger you don’t understand how many people value you and you’re health. So many kind words, gestures and even hugs have passed through within this last month and I couldn’t be more thankful. Everyone has been amazing and I can’t thank you all enough!