Being nearly 25 in a couple of months I’ve recently been thinking of things and how my life would have been if I had done things a little differently in my teenage years. When you’re young you are oblivious to adulthood responsibilities and don’t listen to your parents because you never think you’ll get to that age of responsibilities. You just think ” Oh I will do this but when I’m older” but before you know it that time comes knocking very fast. Here are some of the things I wish I could have told my teenage self all those years ago:
Saving money is more important than you think – This is one of the many reasons I wish I really had listened too. Being young you always are aware of people judging one another on how they look, who has the latest phones and so on. So whatever money you had you spend. I can remember I was one of those people. When I got money I felt I had to spend it as it was something of a luxury, I had to get the latest clothes or put it towards a latest phone or gadget that was out at the time. I had a paper until I was 16, which only made me £9 a week but if I had saved that over the 5 years maybe as little as £5 a week for 5 years I would have had at least £1300 by the age of 16, it’s something to start putting towards for a house or something along those lines, that would have been without Christmas tips as well. When I turned 18 I got my first job, again I never saved because I had more money than sense. I was able to spend, spend, spend. Looking back it was stupid of me not to put money away and instead worry about not having the latest gadget, I should have thought about my future.
Your parents aren’t out to get me – When you’re a 16-year-old and your parents won’t let you out to a party or let you do something you want to do, you feel your whole world is crushed and that they are out to get you. But in fact, your parents aren’t out to get you but instead are there to protect you and think what’s best for you. I was a vile teenager to my parents. I was always trying to be rebellious and because of being gay and not out I had so many things in my head to try and contend with. I used to shout till I had no voice with my parents and for what? I never got my own way so why did I bother? It’s only when you get older you realise how much your parents have done for you. They brought you into this world and want nothing but the best for you. My Mom and Dad have gone through a lot with having 3 children. They’ve brought us up with manners and respect and for that, I’m very grateful for.
Don’t be afraid to be different, embrace your quirks – From a young age, I knew I was different. Being gay was one of the reasons but other than that I knew I was different. Being a very creative, loving style and having lots of friends that were girls. I was put in a shell and too shy to do anything. I didn’t want to embrace that I was different, I didn’t want to do the things I wanted to do like textiles or anything to do with fashion because I was worried people would hate on me. I didn’t want to wear the clothes I wanted because I was scared people would laugh at me or say horrible things. Instead of doing this I should have taken the step and been bold and made sure I was I embraced being different. I’ve learned that now that being different is an amazing and rewarding thing. I shouldn’t of worn clothes that I didn’t really want to wear just to please others, instead of I should have dressed to depress. You’re different and you should embrace that no matter what, you will only see those people around school who taunt you for a few years whereas you see yourself every day… so just be you!
Don’t be so hard on yourself – Every teenager I’ve ever known always put themselves under so much pressure. Getting good grades at school, trying to combat the dreaded outbreak of spots, trying to get that one person to notice you, trying to make sure your voice is heard in the crowd of friends, making sure you’re not perceived as being boring because you don’t do what the other kids are doing. Just stop. You’re okay. Every teenager goes through this and you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it. You’re doing your best with grades, sitting exams aren’t your thing but that doesn’t mean you’re stupid. So what if you have a spot? You shouldn’t let that get you down, every teenager gets them at some point. Don’t make them feel like you’re ugly or not good enough just because of your hormones. With trying to get that one person to notice you.. don’t waste your time. He clearly was just as confused as you were. Let people chase you, not the other way round. The group of friends you’re with through school might not last forever. So don’t do things just to try and impress them if it makes you look like a horrible person. Lastly so what if you’re perceived as boring at least you’re not being called the bike of the year. Just don’t stress kid you’ll be fine!
You should have got help for your anxiety – Anxiety was and sometimes to this day the bane of my life. You will always worry and stress over the little of things and sometimes it influenced big decisions in my life. I’ve lost out to many jobs because of my anxiety and all because I was scared to take medication for it. I thought I was strong enough to battle it on my own but little did I realise just how bad it would get till I hit my 20’s. Doctors are there to help you and to find a solution to your problems. All of the panic attacks and making yourself very ill was for nothing, as every situation you worried about never happened anyway.
Don’t let people walk all over you – You’re a very nice person and always think of others before yourself. You’re going to have a lot of people in your life that will neglect this and walk all over you. Stand up for who you are and what you want. If you don’t want to do something, then don’t do it. You don’t like something, you don’t have to like it just because someone else does. Friends come and go but you will always stay true to who you are. If people don’t like the decisions you make, then that’s their loss. You don’t have to be molded to something you’re not just to fit into a group of friends or for a boyfriend. Nobody should ever dull your sparkle.
Love the body you’re in – All teenagers struggle with always trying to keep up appearances. Put the straighteners down and let your curly hair rock, you come to love it someday and it’s a part of who you are. Yes you’re thin but it’s your metabolism, don’t let people get you down because of that. I know you have a tough time when you’re around 15/16 but don’t let that define who you are, you beat it and yes it doesn’t always go away but you beat it! You don’t need a nose job, your face was just growing at a smaller rate than your nose was. As for your teenage acne, it fades eventually and you have amazing skin! You were too hard on yourself and you didn’t need to be. You were growing up and like any teenager wanting to strive for perfection. Ignore those adverts. You are you and that’s all that matters! Everyone is different in that retrospect so don’t worry!
Believe in yourself – No matter what people say to you, you can do what you want. When people put you down at your hopes and dreams they are just insecure about their own dreams and hopes. Don’t let people taunts and laughs tell you otherwise. Follow your dreams and good things will happen.
That boy who broke your heart wasn’t love – You’ll come across a boy who you think was amazing and perfect. 4 years you will put into this relationship. You will put your life and soul into the relationship but it isn’t meant to be. It wasn’t your fault either. You will think everything is perfect, but all isn’t as it seems. You stayed true to yourself the whole way through that relationship, right till the end. As much as you were heartbroken and you felt your world fell apart you get through it. You find who you truly are, and are actually allowed to express yourself properly instead of being suppressed because of what he said and this is where you love of fashion was born. Your fashion blog was born. A change of image and you were on top of the world. You forget about him and find someone truly amazing a year later, who defines the mean of love. He might have the same name but by no means is he the same.
Have fun while you’re young – You’re young so go and have fun, instead of staying in your room. You’re entitled to go have fun. You have no responsibilities so while you can enjoy it because things get tough when you become and adult.