No More Perfect Marriages: Experience the Freedom of Being Real Together

Product Information

I'm going to take a moment here to state upfront how raw this review will be, because this book focused on a subject that has made my heart both hard and tender over the years- infertility. I put off reading this book until the last second before a review was needed (I'm so sorry if I made you nervous Ariele!) because I was unsure of how it would affect me. Would it put me in a funky reading slump? The short answer is no, it didn't, and I'm 100% glad I took a chance on reading All Your Perfects, because I have never consumed a novel that felt so intimately crafted toward myself as a reader before. All Your Perfects is a book that made me feel every emotion in the world. It broke me, and it healed me, and it made me not feel so lonely. I wanted to hug my iPad, and throw my iPad. I wanted to give it five stars, and I wanted to give it one star. I swear, this book made me feel everything. And even though I had problems with some of the content, I still think this book is super important. And the subject matter of this book is something I’ve never read about before, and it’s a topic that we need to be normalizing and start discussing more. I easily and effortlessly fell in love with Quinn. Everything she was going through, and the way that CoHo wrote about it, felt like such an accurate depiction of depression. I felt for her constantly and my heart is still filled with so much empathy for this fictional character. When you meet someone who is good for you, they won't fill you with insecurities by focusing on your flaws. They'll fill you with inspiration, because they'll focus on all the best parts of you."

I’m going to go crawl into my bed and spend approximately 2 years sobbing over this book and the pain it brought upon me. Firstly I’m so sorry that I gave five stars to your book. If goodreads application let me borrow five more stars to give this book, I happily do that!

Discussions

It was the smallest thing in the world. A chore that took two seconds to complete. And it single-handedly shattered my perception of having a perfect marriage. I have to make one concession though. I did tear up a few times. Some of it because I felt sorry for Graham and felt the pain of their unhappiness with their situation, but most of it because I was sad about something else, and any mild inconvenience would have made me cry. So I am not sure how accurate this is as an indicator of the emotionality of the book.

Quinn and Graham are married for seven years but now they are not as happy s they were, they’re struggling, they don’t feel alive inside and it’s eating their marriage. They live with each other but they miss each other and they feel alone, more than anytime else! Quinn thinks it’s her fault and because of her, Graham can’t have what he wants! But Graham just wants her, he wants both of them to enjoy their life! They still love each other so much but they’re just losing faith, interest, and hope! Graham is trying to save their marriage but how can he, trying alone!? I remember after we had calmed down, looking at Amanda (who was still crying) and just laughing. After a second, she started laughing too because we simply couldn’t help it! The whole thing was just too silly! I’ve also found that every book has many little imperfections. The Old Bard of Avon included in this, but it’s about how all those tiny little imperfections (this metaphor is becoming very rhythmic with this book’s title) wrap up to make it perfect. That’s that last star - in a world where nothing can be perfect, that last star is handed to how beautiful an author can execute it's imperfections. Plus points when it makes me feel like I need to save my own marriage in crisis – even though I am not married, not even close to being in a relationship, and have never been in a relationship I wanted to fight to save - I am usually the one to kill them. Graham, on the other hand, was much harder for me to fall for. And even though some of his actions were really beautiful and selfless, I never fully loved him because some of his other actions were so nasty and selfish. And I get it, we are all human, we all make mistakes and do bad things sometimes, but his mistakes just prevented me from ever rooting for him. Graham does some really abusive stuff in this book that is never told like it’s abuse, too.

Reviews

What is this book about? Well, I hope you’re sitting down because it’s about to get real. This was a captivating yet messy story that will make every cell in your body explode. We know that in most fairy tales, once you have a ring on your finger, you’ll live happily ever after. In this story you’ll find out that in real life; it does not work like that. There is no definitive list of “dos or don’ts” or like any easy steps to achieve a happily ever after. If you want a happily ever after then it’s going to take some effort to keep the love burning in a world filled with countless things that can stifle it. I'm still crying. I finished this book at 4:06 in the morning and I'm still sitting here re-reading some of the paragraphs and sobbing to myself. I don't think I have ever not regretted reading a book like this one. (Sorry for the double negative, it's one of those days, bear with me) I don't want to give anything away, so I won't go into plot specifics, but it goes way below surface level and discusses a myriad of issues and concerns that people deal with on the journey through infertility (or just fertility issues in general). All the insensitive comments of well meaning people, the guilty internal struggle when everyone around you is having babies, the expense that comes along with pricey fertility treatments that may or may not work, and the mental health decline as you pull out of yourself and get lost in a downward spiral of depression and self-deprecation is all touched on. Before you shake your angry fist and scream "But what about adoption!", don't worry, that's discussed as well. I found myself crying throughout almost the entire book, but especially during those moments that felt carved from my very being and placed into Quinn and Graham's narrative. I remember those nights when Mr. Humphrey (bless him, he really is the best) would hold me close and tell me that I was enough and that he wouldn't give up on us. That moment in the story where the old man tells Quinn that the secret to a long happy marriage is for both spouses to never give up at the same time is SO true, and it broke me to read that after living it.

She on the other hand is distant to him. Uses him and his body for one and one purpose alone. Gets upset when he calls her out on this. She basically plays corpse when he is trying to make love to her, essentially making the poor man feel like he’s r*ping his wife instead of having the consensual and sensual love making he is used to.I thought this story was chemical, it broke my heart in the best way and as much as I hurt - I didn't want it to end. I didn't want to leave Quinn and Graham. I wanted to see every detail of what their lives would turn out to be. Cheating in romance books are a hard pass for me and very rarely do I overlook it, unless the character walks away from whoever they have been cheated by. Because THAT is a good role modeling system for any young people that decide to read this book. I would hate for younger me to read a book where one of the MC forgives the other for cheating on them.