It’s already, nearly been a month since I moved out of my parents home to living alone. While it’s been a very exciting time, it’s not all that it’s cracked up to be. In this blog post, I wanted to showcase my feelings and how I’ve felt over the past month.
When I first moved in there was no homely feel to the place. I started to unpack my boxes and add the Luke touch to each room. I was so excited to showcase what I had to offer to the house and try to find a place for each and every object I had started to acquire from wanting to move out. Luckily enough I had a week off when I moved in. I then went to London for a few days so I was away from home and enjoyed the thought of going back and just having my own space. But, on the other hand, I was going back to an empty house, no tv, no internet and no fridge or freezer. My anxiety was going over and over, but I was in London so I didn’t let it get to me. However, when I started to head back from London to my Boyfriend’s house, I could feel myself worrying about how much work I needed to do. I remember unlocking my door and walking into a cold, lifeless and quiet house. After spending time with my boyfriend I felt so upset. However, I thought to myself there is no point sitting around and being upset, So I got back into my car and went to Currys to buy myself a TV so at least I had something to watch while I waited for my internet at the end of the week.
The next morning I woke up and found myself lying in bed thinking about all the things I would like to do with the house. But in reality, all I wanted to do was having someone around and not be on my own. I had my boyfriend around on the weekend before I went to back work and I felt in my element. Cooking, cleaning and just knowing someone was there was such a nice feeling. But as soon as he went home and I knew I was going to be on my own, the feelings started to creep back. I tried to sit and write a blog post or try and get into reading some of my favourite bloggers. However, I couldn’t even do this. To take my mind off of the feelings I tried to get things ready to go back to work, which seemed to do the trick. The following morning I woke up to get ready to go to work and I felt so good because I was getting away from the house. Able to socialise and not have to worry about being on my own. But as the time to go home came, I was getting anxious knowing I was going back home to no-one. I’ve been so used to coming home and saying hello to my mom, siblings and getting a lovely big hug from our dog Luna. When that doesn’t happen anymore, it’s just a little bit upsetting.
These feelings are still strong even going into to a month of moving out. Somedays I love the thought of coming home from work, getting into my onesie and sitting down with a cup of tea watching my new found tv shows that I enjoy watching. Yet there are days where I can’t wait to go to work or to go to my parents or the boyfriends. The thought of being on my own scares me, the thought of doing everything myself fills me with so many anxious thoughts. These feelings are so strong they just make me feel upset and unmotivated. Which is why my blogging and Instagramming has taken a backseat because of the negative and unmotivated feelings. In addition to this is money worries. I’m doing this all on my own so I struggle to get my head around budgeting and making sure I have enough money left over to last me. As I’m an adult this is something I need to take into my stride and make sure I sit down and do.
I hope that when the months go on, these feelings fade. When it’s warm and sunny and I can do more things and see more people without having to spend too much money, I’d be happy. But at the moment, I’m happy the one moment and I feel utterly upset and unmotivated the next. This is why I want to try and get into blogging and Instagram once again. Also even getting into starting my own photography business to get myself back on the road of trying to feel like me again. At the moment I’m struggling and I hate it.
I left home at 16 the first time and loved it. However, when I was in my late thirties my marriage broke down and I ended up living with my older brother and his family and then moving into my own place. If you’re used to being surrounded by people, it’s going to take a little bit of adjustment time for you, so give yourself some slack. I felt exactly the same at 37 moving into a house on my own as you’re now and it’s completely natural even when you’re a proper (certified) grown up to feel that way. 🙂 You’re going to be fine, I promise x Now stick that onesie on. Hugs x
Awhh, thank you for the lovely comment ♥
It’s just so hard when you’re used to it, plus when I get down and my anxiety comes over strong it’s so hard to get myself out of it. When I’m on my own I just overthink.
Trust me the oneise comes on as soon as I walk through the day after work! x
I’ll move in. It’s the only solution 😂
Your doing amazingly and you have come so so so far keep your chin up and know you have a lot of people around you xxx
Thank you Fi ♥
Really means a lot to me!
Love you lots
xxxx
Love you more ❤️ Xxxxx
I still haven’t moved out, and while I can’t wait to move out, because I find my house so loud and crowded, I feel like I’ll feel the same as you when I do eventually move out. I’ll probably feel a little off guard by all the silence. Stay strong, like another one of your readers said, I think it’s something you just need to adjust to. Great post Luke xxx
melina | melinaelisa.com
It’s so hard.
I talk to myself so much!
Yeah I hope it sorts itself out…
Thank you lovely xxx
First – sending you big virtual hugs and wish this will be behind you asap. I Know how how you feel and remember that so well. I moved to the US to do my MA studies for 2 years. I moved to a place I never visited before and knew absolutely no one there. I spent the whole first night there wide awake and shaking all over. It was the first time I was really really alone. The next morning I woke up and made it my mission to make friends so I would feel more grounded. I also went shopping and bought stuff that made my place feel more homey, and painted some art for my walls. It took a while to feel like I was at the right place for me but once I did it ended up being one of the best periods in y life.I am sure in a couple of weeks you will end up waiting to go to your home – while visiting others, and it will be the place you will feel most at peace in.
Thank you lovely.
Wow that is a very big step, I feel silly for even comparing it to yours,
I hope I get through these feelings tbf.
It’s just so hard.
*Big hugs*
feeling are never silly, they are what they are:)
And I took that step when I was needing a BIG life change and to shake up everything so it fit me at the time:) and I forgot to write before – HEYYYY you live in London – one out of my two most favorite cities in the world. you are I am SO jealous!